Gears of War: E-Day

TL;DR its good. Stfu and play it. I'll start off by saying, if you're a sheep and follow some moronic streamers or youtubers like that dumbass peanut or nickdumbassmercs and keep parroting whatever they say and refuse to have a single original thought in your stupid heads, just close the review now. You don't have an opinion, don't have any points to make, and you remind me of a certain political party that contradicts themselves at every turn. Because I'll get cancelled - despite it being 2026 and me being able to say crazy things irl and at work - if I call you what I wanna call you, I'll stick to mongoloid and neanderthal. You're that. But I'm not done yet! Gears did not 'sideline' Marcus and Dom. For Christ's sake, they still act like brothers and the narrative still focuses on them. God forbid we touch on the two other characters IN THE SQUAD, one of which has Rustlung which - if most of you dumbasses are old enough to have even played the original - you'd know is a pretty big story point. Oh let's not forget the 15 minutes of a singular chapter we get on the other squad member's history with his pre-war buddies. Oh no, but if Dicknut or NickDicks say a game is bad, you better believe them and not play the game for yourself! 'Oh but there's gay and trans stuff in the game!' Hey, dumbass, come here, I want you to scroll ALL THE WAY down to the bottom of your profile customization, as FAR AWAY as you can and - oh ♥♥♥♥. All the stuff you hate is at the very bottom of the list! You had to dig to find it...why'd you try so hard? Hiding something? Man sybau and play the game lmao. Anyway, now time for a short review. The movement in the game feels great. Yes yes, we liked how ridiculous the roadie run was and how wall bouncing was the unofficial Mexican citizenship test. However, the sprinting mechanics, the slides, just the overall fluidity of the game feel amazing and they did a great job. Named characters aren't safe, and this game is just as brutal as it's previous titles. You thought Ben in Gears 2 was bad? Alright pal. The gore and atmosphere are amazing. Lancer sounds beefy, very important. Valen is the goat. The dudes are all still roided out of their minds and considering the Pendulum wars JUST ended in the lore, the women are also roided out of their minds. Bummer for us Anya and Sofia fans from Gears 3 and Judgement (tactical yoga pants), but it's sticking with the lore so deal with it. There are no #slayqueens lmao. Captain Grey is just roided out of her mind. Also the only two commanders that aren't ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like Colonel Trench aren't introduced still like Act 3. Stop. Believing. Every. Thumbnail. You. See. On. Youtube. THE CAMPAIGN. Lemme tell you something. I am pretty sure I remember going down in Gears 1 2 and 3 on Insane and my coop partner being able to revive me. It's been years but, E-Day doesn't care at all. If either you go 'go down', you're dead. Back to checkpoint. Dead. Halo 2 legendary coop type ♥♥♥♥ dead. One of you dies, it's over. Regardless, the atmosphere and story telling the game provides are outstanding. Remember in Gears 1 when Hoffman says he's going back to the Raven's Nest? Neither do I but I probably dreamt it. 'But Rex, it's never explained why Gears are so violent and overly brutal when they kill the Locust!' Hey, mongoloid, first of all you should read the books. Second, this campaign shows you why. A better question is what DIDN'T the Locust do to humans and why it should be considered far to beat them in an infinite execution loop and chainsaw through their bowels. 'But Rex, in Gears 3 there's only like a few thousand humans left-' Yea, you neanderthal, you're about to learn how the humans lost the war within a few days lmfao get ready. And no, that's not a spoiler. You've had 2 decades to play Gears, sybau. HORDE MODE. Remember Gears 2? That map with 4 identical streets and a giant e-hole in the middle? Sitting on the longest catwalk you could find with a gold lancer (un